Ask him anything. He tells you everything
Dear Lupo
What do you wear when you go on holiday? I enjoy your column and I feel I can almost picture you by what you have said — and I think I look like that, too. I have a holiday in Portugal coming up: what would you wear?
Thanks,
Paul Ranger
Dear Mr Ranger,
When in Portugal, particularly Porto, I find it ideal to sport espadrilles, culottes and a selection of tinned sardines.
I hope this is helpful.
Lupo
Dear ‘Lupo Secco’
I have recently divorced and I am planning to write poetry. Could you please recommend some styles and subjects? Love the column by the way!
Erika, Knightsbridge
Dear Erika,
Tone poems and haikus can be quite popular and have a certain depth. However, as a recent divorcee, you will probably remain that way for some time as a result.
Best of luck,
Lupo
Dear Lupo
I was in Nisa in Tod the other day and this bloke says to his misses Oy let’s get these — and holds up these croisspits or summat — croissant muffins? Cruffins? And she just goes No they’re gay.
Is she right do you think? Cheers. Love the stories mate
Dave
Dear Dave,
I think it depends what you’re doing with them. If you’re shoving them up your arse, unbuttered, she probably has a point.
All best
Lupo
Dear Lupo
My friend who is an AI says that if a local person came into your pub and looked underage and had no ID they would not get served. But if that person was an alien who might look underage and will definitely not have ID you would serve them. Can you tell him please, thank you
(@)
Dear (@)
What an unusual name! That must be difficult for people to pronounce. I have to say the simple answer is that I serve who I like. It might not be the answer you were hoping for, but hope is the last refuge of the desperate, even if they’ve experienced interstellar travel to get to it.
Lupo
Dear Lupo that’s so great! Thank you so much. We will be in on Friday but I know you’re all in London launching the Baby Wolf website. Hope to see you on Sunday!
(@)
Pronounced Veee ‘AYE” OH as in OWH — WAAAaoooOOOONG!
Dear (@)
Or however you pronounce it. While I may be the Robin’s priest, I fear I am now in danger of becoming an agony aunt. Agony, I can do. But I am no one’s fucking aunt.
Buy your own drinks
Lupo
